back to full posting this weekend

Hi kids! No, it's not a hoax, and it's not an imaginary story -- it's really me, The Haiku Master, and I'm pleased to report that Haiku International has secured a new computer network, following the tragic "crash" of the new model's predecessor some three weeks ago!

Unfortunately, H.I.'s Minister of Information still hasn't worked all the bugs out of the system, but he assures me we'll be up and running by this weekend. Until then, look to the skies! And for christ's sake, don't take any wooden nickels!!!

Best,

please stand by

Hi folks! It's me, The Haiku Master, ducking in to slip you some devastating news: gremlins have infiltrated Castle Haiku's computer network, requiring a massive upgrade that's going to keep the H.I. site grounded for about another week!

In the meantime, if you're looking for something to do, why not call your mother and tell her how much you love her? I hear they like that kind of thing -- and with the present-giving holidays right around the corner, a little brown-nosing can't hurt. Take it from me... The Haiku Master!!!

Best,

dear god does my stomach ever hurt

Uh, hi folks. It's me, The Haiku Master, but I'm not feeling so hot right now... because I ate way too much Halloween candy today!!

If The Haiku Master Had Limited Himself To The Candy Shown Here, His Stomach Probably Wouldn't Hurt As Much

Sadly, I had no choice -- between my own trick-or-treating efforts and my cut of the Haiku Street Irregulars' monty haul, I had a veritable mountain of candy at my disposal. Not being the type to waste food, and having no idea what kind of expiration date that stuff carries, I didn't want to take any chances. So I ate 'til I could eat no more, leaving my belly feeling like a lurching, twitching, rubber sack that's been filled to the brim with half-digested Halloween candy!!

Unfortunately, this means I won't even be able to look at candy for months. The rest won't go to waste, though; I've instructed the Haiku-Bot to ship it to an Ethiopian orphanage, where the abandoned children will no doubt put it to good use. And with so little candy left, and so many kids to feed, I'm not worried about it having the same adverse effect on them as it had on me!

Ethiopian Kids Are Already Lining Up For All The Sweet Halloween Candy They're About To Get From The Haiku Master

Okay for now, 'ku believers -- time for the Pharaoh of 5-7-5 to strategically position himself on Castle Haiku's true throne, a stack of comic books and bottle of Pepto Bismol within easy reach!

Best,