they turned me loose

Get back, funky cats! It's me, The Haiku Master, free at last from the fortune cookie factory where I'd been held hostage for the past week!

Though as it turns out, I wasn't actually in a fortune cookie factory. 'Twould appear I drank too much port wine following the Airing of Grievances at my gala Festivus dinner, then climbed into an empty fortune cookie case and passed out before we even got to the Feats of Strength. Being the trickster he is, H.I.'s Minister of Information took it upon himself to tape the box shut and secure it in one of Castle Haiku's many stately broom closets before leaving for a holiday visit with his family in Cuba. Or was it Puerto Rico? One of those Caribbean republics with bananas and goats and what-not.

The Haiku Master Spent A Week In This Box

At any rate, he returned last night and let me out, laughing uproariously at his own hijinks. I would've fired him on the spot for this effrontery, but nobody loves a good prank more than the Pharaoh of 5-7-5. Besides, even schoolchildren know that revenge is a dish best served cold.

Okay for now, 'ku believers. Time for yours truly to prepare for the big New Year's Eve bash I'm hosting tomorrow night! As always, look for your invitation in the mail, assuming you rate one!

Best,

i'm being held hostage in a fortune cookie factory

Hi folks. It's me, The Haiku Master, and the headline of this post is no joke. At least, I don't think it is. Look, all I know is this: it's dark, and it always smells like fortune cookies. So you tell me.

And to answer your question, no, I don't know how I was able to make this "blog" post, what with my current circumstances and all.

Okay for now; I think I hear someone coming. Might have to bust out some Haikung Fu to get out of this one. If I don't resurface by, say, Friday, be sure to let Paulo know I'm in danger.

Best,