always nice to hear from old friends

Good afternoon, gentle readers! It's me, The Haiku Master, fresh off a delightful visit with one of my oldest, truest friends, the legendary adventurer known as Balthazar the Goat!

Don't Let His Big, Brown Eyes Lull You Into A False Sense Of Security; Balthazar The Goat Is A Renowned Master Of Headbutt Fu

Turns out Balthy was looking for some advice regarding his son, Li'l Balthy. I happen to be the lad's godfather, and was happy to help.

Balthazar The Goat, Jr., A.K.A. Li'l Balthy

"I don't know what to do with that boy!" Balthy wailed, gnawing on the wallpaper in Castle Haiku's stately library. "I've been grooming him for the family business from day one, but instead of fighting criminals, all he wants to do is skateboard and make out with girls! Bah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!"

"Hmmm," I mused, absentmindedly stroking my chin and wondering whether or not a beard would make me look more stately in such moments. "Well, old friend, consider this: must the pursuits be mutually exclusive?"

"You mean..?" he gasped in wonder.

"Precisely -- work the skateboarding into his crimefighting routine. Hot, sweaty make-out sessions with appreciative fans shall surely follow... for both of you!"

"Bah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!" Balthazar shouted with joy. "The Haiku Master, you've done it again! How can I ever repay you for this wisdom!"

"Well for starters, you can stop gnawing on my wallpaper. That stuff's not cheap, you know."

"Oh, sorry about that," he said. "Heh heh. Didn't even realize I was doing it."

"De nada," I assured him. "But, uh, you're still doing it."

"Oh, I am?" he said between mouthfuls. "Terribly sorry, could've sworn I already stopped."

"No... and, um, you're still doing it. See? Teeth? Eating the wallpaper? Still, uh, still happening."

And so it went, until I finally had to enlist the Haiku-Bot's aid to escort Balthazar off the premises. Still, it was nice to see the old sport again.

Balthazar The Goat Heads For Greener Pastures, Prepared To Headbutt Any Who Dare Cross His Path

Guess that's it for now, fan club members. H.B.'s been busy in the kitchen for the past fifteen minutes, which means there's bound to be a hoagie with the Pharaoh of 5-7-5's name on it by now... or my name's not The Haiku Master!

Best,