cole ford: paranoid, or just paranoid enough?

Whoa, slow down, faithful readers! You're likely to hurt yourselves rushing in here the way you did! But then, who can blame you? After all, a new post from The Haiku Master is viewed as a blessing from the gods in many third world cultures!

But enough of that -- the Sultan of Syllables isn't here to chew the fat. No, I'm here to bring your attention to the sad case of Cole Ford. This former kicker for the nefarious Oakland Raiders is charged with firing several shotgun blasts outside the home of those infamous magi, Siegfried and Roy. Ford's stated reason for doing so was a desire to "'warn the world' of the threat posed by the illusionists."

Whether Kicking Footballs Or Drawing Attention To Evil Men, Cole Ford Is Always Right On Target

For this brave act, Ford has been labeled a criminal, and was forced to undergo psychiatric evaluation at the hands of The Man. On which I call bullshit!

Make no mistake, ladies and gentlemen -- Siegfried and Roy are indeed grave threats to mankind's existence, and will not rest 'til every last one of us are under their command! (Or rather, "every last one of you," as I'm Homo Cabbagien, not Homo Sapien.) Plus, those "tigers" they parade around with? They're actually demons in feline form!!!

Siegfried & Roy A.K.A. The Dark Lords Of Omnicrom-5 (Seen Here With Pet Demon Disguised As Tiger)

This travesty of justice must not stand! Write your congressmen forthwith! Every day that a heroic individual like Cole Ford rots in jail while the Dark Lords of Omnicrom-5 walk free is another day in which our world tips further into madness!

Best,