this shall not stand

Anger. Sorrow. Nausea. Fear and Loathing. These are the emotions that course through The Haiku Master's heart of hearts tonight, gentle readers -- for the World's Greatest Football Team, the mighty, mighty Miami Dolphins, will play no prime time games in the 2005 NFL season!

The Miami Dolphins: The Only Football Team Endorsed By The Haiku Master

That's right -- for the first time since 1970, the only NFL team with an undefeated season shall not grace the evening television hours with its presence! The home of Marino, Shula, Buoniconti, Griese, Thomas, the Marks Brothers, Morris, Taylor, and countless other Valhalla-bound warriors, relegated to a strict daytime regimen! My god, man -- even Pee Wee teams get to play in the dark every now and again!!

One's immediate reaction is to blame the fools at the NFL's scheduling office, but then one realizes they had no choice... not after alleged coach Dave Wannstedt all but destroyed what had been the league's most storied franchise! To make matters worse, he somehow managed to go more than $15M over the salary cap and lose a 2nd round draft pick while putting together a team of gimps and used car salesmen that no one in their right mind would want in their home on a Sunday or Monday night!

With incompetence on that level, Wannstedt shouldn't be coaching -- he should be running NASA.

Dave Wannstedt: The Only Football Coach Endorsed By Chumps And Fools

Ah, well. Hopefully the 'Phins' new head coach, Nick Saban, will whip that motley crew into shape fast. Perhaps I'll volunteer my services should things look dire down the road -- we certainly don't need a repeat of this embarrassment next season.

Best,