dig my new digs

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‘XENU AND ME,’ CHAPTER VIII

Let's get this party started, fun-lovers! It's me, The Haiku Master, reporting from my brand-new, top secret base of operations in the Baltimore suburbs... a little place I like to call Castle Haiku!

The Haiku Master Is Living Large At The Newly Acquired Castle Haiku

That's right, baby! Me, the Pharaoh of 5-7-5, right up there in the crimefighter big leagues as far as cool headquarters go! And is it ever decked out: ballroom, library, indoor pool, outdoor pool, gym, kennels, stables, billiards room, suits of armor, revolving fireplace, secret passageways, umpteen bedrooms and bathrooms -- even a chapel if I ever feel like getting religious!

Better still, I got it for a song! Turns out the previous owner is a notorious angel trumpet kingpin, and was recently arrested through the combined efforts of the DEA, ATF, and FTD. He won't get his day in court for months, but thanks to modern drug laws the feds were able to seize his property and auction it off almost immediately! Isn't that great?!

Okay for now, friends. As you can imagine, I've got a lot of unpacking to do, and it's not going to get done if I sit here typing all night. Oh, and the big housewarming party is set for this Saturday -- be sure to look for your personalized invitation in the mail, assuming you rate one!

Best,