i'm nielsen material, baby

Greetings, friends! It's me, The Haiku Master, back with some exciting news -- I'm currently employed as a "Family" for the Nielsen Ratings Conglomeration Corp., Unlimited!

That's right! Me, the Sultan of Syllables, deciding the future of American television! Better still, I'm earning a smooth $5.00 for my efforts... and they sent it to me in C-A-S-H, which means I don't have to tell The Man about it next April 15th!

Unfortunately for you TV lovers, I don't share your passion. So as far as Hollywood's concerned, there's 100,000-something people living in the Baltimore suburbs who exclusively watch the morning news, That '70s Show reruns, and Letterman.

My apologies to local fans of Lost Desperate Housewives who feel I'm doing them a disservice, but frankly, any more television than that in a week is ludricous.

Okay for now, fan club members; I'm off to read the latest issue of Jughead. Hee hee hee, has that kid ever met a hamburger he didn't like?!

Best,