more zombies than you can shake a stick at

Howdy folks. It's me, The Haiku Master, freshly returned from my nightly patrol of Charm City -- where the streets are thick with zombies, as they are every year during Halloween Weekend!!!

A Pack Of Bloodthirsty Zombies Rushes The Haiku Master (Foreground, Right)

To make matters worse, these aren't your father's zombies. Historically, thwarting the walking dead was simply a matter of keeping up a brisk pace while swatting at their heads with the weapon of one's choice; in my case, my trusty 1-iron. But these days, those suckers are fast!

Frankly, I blame it on 28 Days Later. Not to mention that high-gloss Dawn of the Dead remake! Whoever directed those movies should be run out of town on a rail. I mean, what kind of traitorous humans make zombie empowerment flicks?!

No matter though -- the Sultan of Syllables is still more than a match for a bunch of stupid zombies, regardless of how quickly they move! In fact, I took down more than 50 earlier tonight while rescuing the nice people seen in this photo:

The Haiku Master (Left) Takes A Break From Fighting Zombies To Comfort A Group Of Human Survivors

Of course, not all zombies are bad. Take my close, personal friend, Zombie Gary Hart. The onetime presidential hopeful may have a head full of worms these days, but he's still a dreamer with a powerful message. If he could just learn to stay away from the "Monkey Business" -- wink wink, nudge nudge -- he might just make it to the Oval Office one day.

From Left: Zombie Gary Hart And The Haiku Master

Okay for now, kids. Fighting zombies is tiring work, so it's time for your hero to hit the hay. Catch you on the flip side!

Best,