down for the count

Hi folks! It's me, The Haiku Master, basking in the warm glow of companionship just afforded me by none other than Sesame Street's The Count, who called, as he put it, "To shoot ze sheeet! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!"

The Count Is Bat-Shit Crazy, Which Is Exactly What The Haiku Master Loves About Him

As always, though, it was one hell of a confusing conversation, what with his junky-level need to count everything in sight... and earshot!

"Hey, Count!" I said, after taking the waiting receiver from the Haiku-Bot. "How's it hanging, baby?"

"Vun!" he shouted gleefully at me. "Vun question! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!!!"

"What?" I said, always having trouble with his thick Transylvanian accent.

"Two!" he chortled madly. "Two questions!!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!!!"

And so it went, with me getting little out of him save a running count -- no pun intended -- of my queries. As well as the distinct sound of him crapping his pants with joy when he got to number twenty-five. Still, it was nice to hear from the guy.

Speaking of which, Festivus is right around the corner (December 23)! Be sure to start calling friends and relations now to ensure generous gift-giving on their parts. Take it from me... The Haiku Master!!!

Best,