out with the old, in with the new

Howdy, 'ku believers! It's me, The Haiku Master, ringing out the Old Year with the last Haiku International post of 2005!

Unfortunately, I have a lot to do before Castle Haiku's gala New Year's party later tonight, so this isn't destined to be one of my better crafted missives. Instead, I'm going to borrow a page from the hack journalist's playbook and present you with a slapped-together list of top 10 stuff; heck, let's call it The Top 10 Things The Haiku Master Ate In 2005! Here we go:

1) Sausage Pizza: If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, but nothing tastes better than a pipin' hot sausage pizza. Ask for it by name!

2) Hostess Snack Cakes: My obligatory crimefighter endorsement deal with them aside, there really is no finer snack cake on the market. Twinkies? Zingers?! Ho-Hos?!? Only as a last resort as far as I'm concerned!

3) Hoagies: Thanks to the Haiku-Bot's deft hoagie-making abilities, this category made a big jump in the past year, and may even be a serious contender for the top spot in 2006!

4) Lucky Charms: Nothing says breakfast like a paranoid, gold-hoarding leprechaun. Also great as a late-night snack straight out of the box!

5) Cheese: And plenty of it.

6) Hamburgers: Two of my close, personal friends, Jughead Jones and Wellington J. Wimpy, turned me on to these bad boys at an early age, and I've never been able to say "no" to them since.

7) Mashed Potatoes: My preferred movie-watching munchies.

8) Gravy: Goes great by itself, as well as with a variety of other items -- including #s 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, and 9 on this list.

9) Chewing Tobacco: Most wouldn't consider this a food, but if you've got the stomach for swallowing, you'll find it to be a real delicacy.

10) Pop Rocks: A classic never goes out of style.

So there you have it -- the Top 10 Things eaten by the Sultan of Syllables in 2005. Look for next year's list in about 12 months, and until then, have one hell of a Happy New Year!

Best,