get up and get your grandma out of here

Pick up, 'ku believers! It's me, The Haiku Master, working hard this year, and now that Haiku International's computer problems are behind me I can get back to the business of thrilling and chilling you in style!

That's right! No more TRS-80 SuperMobile Laptop for the Sultan of Syllables -- not with the wickedly-fast, potentially alien-created system known only as KAISER-1 powering H.I.'s online activities!!

KAISER-1 Will Keep Haiku International Humming For A Long Time To Come, Assuming The Haiku Master Doesn't Spill Beer On It

A real beauty, huh? I'd tell you how much she set me back, but frankly, I don't want you people hitting me up for loans.

Okay for now, friends. I'm currently tracking a nefarious criminal organization whose members dress like nuns to sell drugs to schoolchildren... and my sources tell me Vice President Dick Cheney is involved! Needless to say, that requires my immediate attention; hopefully, I'll have more details for you tomorrow!

Best,