it's okay to come out now

Good news, friends! It's me, The Haiku Master -- finally ready to emerge from Castle Haiku's bomb shelter following Hurricane Katrina's bloody reign of terror!

I would've been up sooner, but with Katrina just leaving the country yesterday -- and totally destroying New Orleans, Los Angeles, New York, Miami, Chicago, Kansas City, Nashville and Kalamazoo in the process -- the Pharaoh of 5-7-5 wasn't about to take any chances. Hopefully you took my sage advice and sought shelters of your own before she hit.

Fortunately, I talked Haiku International's Minister of Information into serving as a topside lookout while this horrid, Old Testament-style storm wreaked a swath of destruction from one end of the country to another. Without him, the Haiku-Bot and I never would've known just how bad things had gotten outside: gas shooting up to $57.00 a gallon, Iraqi freedom fighters conquering New Orleans, people eating each other, the dead rising, etc.

Katrina had her cruel way with my luxurious top-secret base of operations, to boot: drinking all the liquor; eating all the snack cakes; drawing crude, unflattering cartoons about yours truly on the walls; and racking up some hefty pay-per-view porn charges on my satellite link-up! Shelton, on the other hand, came through without a scratch -- though his nerves were so shot he'd resorted to drinking vermouth, as seen here:

H.I.'s Minister Of Information Desperately Tries To Soothe His Jangled Nerves With A Stiff Glass Of Vermouth

So I guess that's that. Good luck on rebuilding society, folks. I'd join you, but I have just about everything I need here in Castle Haiku. Plus, there's no way I'm fighting any crime in Baltimore -- or anywhere else -- until they get all those goddamned zombies off the streets. Maybe I'll feel different after watching the 10 O'Clock News for the first time in a week, but as of right now it all seems a little pointless.

Best,