1st annual the haiku master's celebrity breakdancing tournament update

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‘FREE PAULO,’ CHAPTER III

Excelsior, 'ku believers! It's me, The Haiku Master, back with exciting news regarding the 1st Annual The Haiku Master's Celebrity Breakdancing Tournament!

Don't Miss The 1st Annual The Haiku Master's Celebrity Breakdancing Tournament, This Sunday At Baltimore's M&T Bank Stadium

As reported yesterday, Dan "The Man, But In A Good Way" Marino and Flavor Flav are already locked as celebrity competitors, and I've secured four key cast members from Breakin' to judge the event. Plus, yours truly will serve as host and emcee. That's right! "MC Haiku Master!" Can you believe it?!

Now -- as if the above weren't exciting enough! -- I'm pleased to announce that deals have finally been reached with Iggy Pop, Scarlett Johansson, Chuck Palahniuk, Jenna Jameson, Antonio Banderas, and Flaming Carrot! Moreover, you'll bear witness to Harry Dean Stanton, Marky Ramone, Shaquille O'Neal, Hank Williams III, Pamela Anderson, and Tony Millionaire strutting their stuff on the cardboard mat!!! Could this deal get any sweeter?!

A Galaxy Of Stars Awaits At The 1st Annual The Haiku Master's Celebrity Breakdancing Tournament

In a word -- yes! If you have heart problems, don't read any further...for there will also be a number of V.I.P. Crimefighters in attendance!!! Cap'n Bosworth J. Shrimpstain, Captain Walrus, Haiku Girl, Fat Albert, Ralph Nader, Santo, Blue Demon, and many others will be on hand to meet fans and take advantage of the V.I.P. Open Bar, so be sure to bring your autograph books!

My one disappointment is that Harrison Ford won't be able to attend...though a certain "Jethro the Bus Driver" will, if you catch my drift. Regardless, I'm sure we'll raise more than enough money to make mine and CCCP-US Commissioner Paulo's legal problems disappear for good.

Okay for now, loyal readers. The big event is scheduled to start at 11:00 a.m. E.S.T. this Sunday at Baltimore's M&T Bank Stadium, so the Pharaoh of 5-7-5 has a lot to do before then -- hope to see you there!

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