johnnie cochran, superstar: rest in peace
Horrible news, haiku fanatics! For the first time in more than a decade, I, The Haiku Master, am without legal representation -- superstar lawyer Johnnie Cochran has filed his last brief (link goes to The Guardian)!
The Best Goddamn Lawyer The World Ever Knew
If I had a nickel for every time the man pictured above pulled me out of an inexplicable legal jam, I'd be in jail, 'cause Johnnie charged a damn sight more than a nickel. But he was worth every penny! Now who is the Pharaoh of 5-7-5 supposed to turn to for a high-powered defense when the walls of this thin, cruel world come closing down?! Mark Geragos? Ha! Ask Scott Peterson for a recommendation on that fraud!
Ah, well. I suppose I'll give Shelton's attorney, Peter O'Neill, a try. He better know his stuff, for broken laws seem to go hand in hand with the noble puruits of spreading haiku and fighting crime.
Best,
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P.S. - Stop bitching, more installments of "Drunk in the Heart of Texas" are coming soon enough. For one, the Sultan of Syllables was deathly ill with a head cold for three or four days. For two, I may or may not have bought an addictive new video game on the cheap. Until I talk to a new attorney, I'm not admitting anything.
2 comments:
i loves me some johnny cochraaaaan. muthafucka bought me a bottle of brandy one time when i was 'po... shyyyyiiiiit
Well, this is quite an honor and no mistake -- welcome back, Cap'n! Glad to see you've managed to snag yourself one of those spirit bodies you can do stuff with, ala Obi-Wan Kenobi or Casper!
You've gotta tell me, though -- do they have booze in the afterlife? Please say yes!!!
Best,
The Haiku Master
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