i must regretfully decline

Good to see you again, pals o' mine. It's me, The Haiku Master... and am I ever tired!

Upon returning home after the successful completion of my latest epic adventure, I had to go rescue my next door neighbor's dog, who was once again stuck in a tree. Then, Old Man Pinkerton across the street needed a hand cleaning out his storm gutters, which led to the Widow Finklebaum pressing me into service as a weed-puller. Finally, with dusk approaching, I was free to go back to my top secret base of operations.

After a sumptious dinner consisting of what the French call "le sausage pizza," I considered hitting the sack...but instead gave in to the siren call of a marathon session of Halo 2. By the time the last Covenant was broken and final Flood dammed, it was nearly 6 in the morning -- well past my normal bedtime, to say the least.

Fortunately, The Haiku Master is ruled by no schedule, and was qualmless about sleeping the day away if needed. My plans were soon undone, though...for my other next door neighbor, the dastardly Mr. Heem, had chosen that very day to have his new swimming pool installed! The construction noise proved to be too much and I soon gave up on slumber, resigning myself instead to mind-numbing daytime television.

So here I am, exhausted beyond belief and eagerly awaiting tonight's well-earned rest. And that's why I'm going to have to beg off from my good friend, the right honorable Professor de la Groove, and his request.

The Professor left me a message while I was in Singapore, and it turns out he's been placed in charge of the archaeological dig surrounding the lost city that was revealed off the coast of Tamil Nadu by the Boxing Day Tsunami (link goes to that bastion of Kiwi journalism, the New Zealand Herald). He said some weird things have been happening at the camp, and that he wanted me to come provide security. Which is certainly a shrewd decision on his part, but frankly, having just gotten back from my reunion with the Adventure Team, I can't be bothered.

I might make it out there eventually, but for now I'm going to suggest he give Flaming Carrot or the Guardian Angels a call. I need a break.

Best,