what in the hell is the deal with paris hilton?

Welcome back, pardners. It's me, The Haiku Master, and I'm deeply troubled by this phenomenon known as "Paris Hilton."

If You See This Girl, Please Give Her A Square Meal

According to evidence gathered by my worldwide network of Haiku Agents, she's an offspring of that famed prestidigitator, Conrad Hilton, but eschewed the family business to become a porn star. After reaching the top of that sleazy industry, she parlayed her notoriety into a successful sitcom on the Fox network, and is now linked to a number of lucrative nightclub and apparel enterprises.

Which leaves me, the Sultan of Syllables, with one question: why?

I mean, aren't such career paths traditionally reserved for voluptuous, achingly beautiful women? As opposed to what one would get if the lovechild of Hitler and Eva Braun decided to develop the Auschwitz look so as to best annoy her parents during the inevitable teen angst phase?

No offense if you're into that sort of thing.

Ah, well. I suppose it's not the first time I've noticed the Emperor's lack of clothes, and I doubt it shall be the last. In the meantime, I'm off to draft a petition to ensure a Jenna Jameson Fox sitcom for the coming television season.

Best,