journey into mexico, pt. V

***
CHAPTER V

Haikunestro

"And so we meet again for the last time, you cabbage-headed cur!" Haikunestro snarled at me as he emerged from the dressing room. Then, to his his motley crew of swarthy cutthroats: "Slice 'em up, boys! Feed their remains to El Diablo when you're done!"

"What the--? Chickens don't eat--," I started, but never had the chance to finish. For there, bounding down the hallway came two close, personal friends of The Haiku Master: Santo and Blue Demon, the world famous Mexican wrestlers!

"¡Allí usted es, Haikunestro!" Santo roared. "¿Usted pensó que usted podría ocultar El Santo y Blue Demon? ¡Usted es un cobarde!"

"¡Sí, hombre! ¡Hora de pagar al piper!," Blue Demon chimed in.

"Shit!" Haikunestro hissed. "I thought we gave those bozos the slip back at that Egyptian burial site..."

"Es no Egyptian, senór!" Blue Demon spat. "Es la Momia Azteca!"

Santo y Blue Demon

Needless to say, all hell broke loose at that point -- a true case of El Haiku Master y Santo y Blue Demon y Paulo contra Haikunestro y El Diablo y Amigos if ever there was one!

As the melee raged, Santo and I found ourselves fighting back-to-back; between his world-renowned wrestling skills and my deadly Haikung Fu, we were truly invincible.

"It's been some time, Haiku Master," said Santo, in what was for him an extremely rare use of English. A thug rushed him, but Santo easily brought a crushing elbow down on the knave's windpipe. "So, how do you know Haikunestro?"

"He's my sworn enemy, being responsible for the near-complete destruction of the Cobra Kai Haiku Order," I replied, using a technique known as The Moe to drive my fingers deep into the lead trainer's eye sockets. "You?"

"The mayor asked me to check him out a couple months ago. Said people had been complaining about some kind of robot cock being used for fighting," he said. "Turns out he's into all kinds of stuff: brain-switching, mummy-theft -- wait, there he goes! And he's got the robot cock with him!"

Sure enough, Haikunestro was making a break for it, El Diablo in hand!

"C'mon, Haiku Master! Let's get him!" Santo shouted. "It'll be just like Thailand all over again!"

Ahh, Thailand. Those were crazy days! Looking over my shoulder, I saw that Paulo and Blue Demon were having no trouble with the remaining conscious henchmen.

"Santo, you've got yourself a date. Let's give this haiku-hating bastard a taste of his own rectum!"

---CLICK HERE FOR 'JOURNEY INTO MEXICO' PT. VI---